I know, today’s life is too busy being a working mom, work-at-home/stay-at-home mom. We remember our grandma fulfilled these roles too. Yet her life never seemed to be so busy or stressful. She, indeed, moved through the duties with effortless grace. What was the heart of success? Today let’s deep dive and learn how to slow down and enjoy homemaking like grandma.
Today I’m talking about my maternal grandma (a single, working mom of 3 kids, my mom lost her dad when she was 2) and my paternal grandma (stay-at-home mom of 5). So, we can get an idea of both lifestyles.
Ever thought if grandma needed a weekly off?
A self-care routine?
A reward for her hard work?
The latest and greatest piece of home accessories?
The newest cleaning tool or appliance in the market?
By no means.
She was all around 24×7.
Her work was her reward in itself.
She created decor pieces with her own hands.
Her cleaning tools were her hands, cloth rags, a bucket of water, or whatever little she got.
Still, her home was warm and pleasant, and herself loving and kind.
The keys were ideas, techniques, efforts, patience, and lots of love that went into making a home.
SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY HOMEMAKING JUST AS GRANDMA DID
The power of routines:
Even now I can tell — my grandma woke up at 5:30 a.m. and my maternal grandma at 3:00 a.m. As I said before she was working outside of the home. They would take showers as soon as they woke up. Just before anyone in the family wakes up.
Before 8 a.m. the breakfast was wiped away. And the laundry hung out to dry before 8:30 a.m. (they used to wash and dry laundry manually). Of course, my cousin would help her.
Just so you know, the laundry process involved soaking clothes in warm water with little detergent for half an hour. Then, they would soap and scrub each section of the clothing. They did that for every piece of laundry. After that, they would rinse every piece of clothing in 2-3 buckets of water until the clothes come out soap-free and clean.
For dishes, they would scrape off the food of the dishes. Take water in a small container and a bucket. Soap the dishes, put them in a small water container, dip them in the bucket (for final rinse), and place them in the drainer.
Then she would tidy up (do the dusting, pick up, straighten up, and sweep the floors) the house and head out for groceries.
She would walk to the market, chitchat with her friends (either she would go with her friends or they would meet along the way), and head back home around 10:15 a.m.
Then she would cut fruits, make lime juice, or give the snacks she had picked up on her way home.
She would then start preparing lunch, cooking everything from scratch. The meals were elaborate and took her time (an hour and a half) to cook for 6-7 of us. She kneaded fresh dough (every time) to make — wheat/rice/ragi flatbread, steamed rice, legumes curry, vegetable side dish, fried items, and 3-4 accompaniments (pickles, sauces, salads, raitas). And yes my cousin or someone would help her a bit.
After that, we would eat lunch together. Post-meal she would do the dishes, leave them to air dry, and tidy up the kitchen quickly.
Then it was spare time for grandma. She would do knitting, sewing, preserving, and canning alongside her favorite TV show.
As you can see, I am still able to tell her routine. I still remember what my mom would do at a precise time.
But, I couldn’t tell what my own routine was a few years ago before I started my morning and evening routine.
That’s because their lives and routines were steady and predictable.
They had a daily rhythm.
Grandma’s life may seem mainstream but they were the happiest and most stress-free people.
The secret to this harmonious state was that their life was on autopilot.
They were seasoned in carrying out the same duties every day.
Their routines were the cornerstones.
So, the secret to enjoying homemaking lies in simple-to-follow routines.
Limit pass time:
People back in the day cherished TIME.
They adored their mornings; esteemed their evenings; treasured festivities and events.
My maternal grandmother didn’t have the luxury of watching T.
She was a very hardworking lady.
Devoted to raising good children as a single mom. My mom and her siblings were too young when they lost their father.
Always on her toes, Grandma never believed in getting rest even for a little while.
She would clean something, make snacks/sweets/specialty food, or read scriptures in her spare moments.
TV and radio devices were the only forms of entertainment in those days. People were updated with the news and songs. But that was just a tiny little part during dinner time.
This might sound harsh but truth to tell — today we’ve too many distractions.
We have the same 24 hours as Grandma.
She had the same number or even more children.
She didn’t have as many modern conveniences as today.
Even then, she outperformed us.
And here we are getting tired and stressed doing just half her work. That too with fancy appliances.
Is this fatigue from too much work or simply because we’re exhausting our mental energy without even noticing it.
All the decision-making — what to wear, what to cook, how to decorate, how to clean, different kids’ activities, matching the standards, higher self-expectations, all the rush — are depleting our energy.
This is the main reason for stress; which is considered normal today.
We hate doing housework because we want to relax and spend our time on social media, shopping online, or watching our favorite stuff on TV, or the internet.
We spend hours in front of our devices and then rush through our daily duties, criticizing our lives and roles as homemakers.
Why do we need shortcuts to clean, cook, or do our duties?
What’s the rush?
Why so laziness and distaste for homemaking?
Read: 5 Ways To Make Your Home A Haven
Deep cleaning=family project:
People back in the day deep-cleaned their homes once or twice a year.
Deep cleaning was done during festive times. Everyone (from kids to seniors) was involved and given tasks they can manage well.
It was a huge family event.
Between the two deep cleaning sessions, Grandma would wash all the bedding, and quilts (in summer) or sun-dry the mattresses, wash all the utensils/containers, and clean the cabinets or do the required cleaning.
But other stuff was included only in deep cleaning.
That freed up her time. The daily and weekly cleaning only needed to be taken care of.
We can follow this in our life too if we are willing to give up on the idea of picture-perfect homes.
The cleaning standards and requirements increased lately when people started displaying their ideal homes on the internet.
You could lower the bar and enjoy homemaking just as Grandma did.
Another thing is to involve everyone.
We used to help our mom and grandma bring in plates and cups for dinner and help them clear the table after finishing (P.S. We used stainless steel plates and cups which are unbreakable); and help her fold and put back clothes in the cupboards.
We also sweep and mop as grown-ups.
That’s why I mentioned above why my cousin would help Grandma too.
You can have your family members help you as well.
This will help train your kids and develop an interest in housework at a young age.
Embrace imperfections:
People in the former times cared less about their homes and appearances.
They hardly bothered if the house was guest-ready, or if they had the best food to serve the guests.
They would welcome people with warm hearts and serve with love.
In those days you could feel comfortable visiting any of your friends or relatives without prior notice and no one would mind.
And you could make yourself feel at home even in their ‘not-so-well-kept home.
Surprisingly these things seem far off today. We now, visit our close ones to judge them, compare with them, and not share a good bond.
Grandma never bothered if her home was up to the mark.
She was busy making the guests feel comfortable, asking about their well-being, and serving them the best food.
We can implement this by just letting go of perfection.
If you keep up with your daily cleaning routine your home will be a pretty welcoming place and you’ll not have to worry about it.
You can then focus on attending to your guests — fun and positive talks, simple homemade food, and an attentive ear. And have a good time with them.
Next time you have a company coming over don’t beat yourself up. Just try to stay on top of your cleaning routines, forget about the home, connect with the guests, and make your best memories.
Final words:
Just slow down and appreciate your role.
I believe it’s the greatest role of all. Give your family the love and care they await.
Savor every moment as you perform your duties with your own hands.
Learn to create a balance.
There will be more days of a mad rush but be sure to make your home a calm place in the thick of it.
Take time to stop and smell the roses.
Truly enjoy your work — create tasty meals, provide fresh laundry, give the dishes thorough wash with hands, and tidy up the living place.
Do everything with love. There’s no satisfaction like working with your hands!
We’re fortunate to be blessed with this role of a homemaker. Focus on being a ‘loving mom/wife’ than a ‘perfect mom/wife’.
Leave a warm print on everyone’s heart as Grandma did.
Thank you so much for reading. Happy Homemaking!